And, let's face it, I've tried everything else.

Waiting didn't work because (and you'll find this if you try it) it tends to drag on and on and on and never exerts the courtesy to let one know how long they will be waiting. Since waiting generally effects the gullible, the answer to that is almost always, a quite rather damn long time.

I tried going out and looking for it, which may have been a splendid idea if I had any clue where "out" was or what "it" looked like.

And considering I resolved long ago not to meddle with those of an unsavory character (ie: everybody who glances twice at me) the search was a lot like looking for a pin in a haystack while you're blindfolded and not allowed to touch a single piece of hay.

After that, I thought writing letters might help. People used to write letters all the time, and it always lead to true love. The art of letter-writing is long forgotten, and needs desperately to be reawakened. If the person I send these letters to doesn't have the decency to know to look for them, then he is not for me.

At last, I tried what everyone told me to do all along, which, I have to say, is generally the last thing a person should be doing because if everyone tells you to do it, it's clear they would never do it their own selves.